Sea Eagles suit Speedos for sponsors

(Photo: SMH/James Brickwood)

Current National Rugby League Premiership winning players, Brett Stewart (left) and David Williams (middle), don Speedos to promote their club's new Hot Water System sponsors. They've won me over.

Valentines Day

This is a Valentine for my readers. Enjoy.

Weighty issues

I decided on a new strategy for attacking the extra kilos I am carrying and went on a search for digital scales last weekend. I purchased a nice looking set which I could accurately read with or without my spectacles and set them up in my bathroom.

My first reading was a great success, almost two kilos lighter than the last reading at the Doctor's rooms. Of course, my new home scales gave me a competitive advantage in that I was standing on them naked, something not previously permitted at the Doctor's rooms. Nevertheless, an encouraging start.

The wisdom of my new strategy was evident when I was yet another kilo lighter the next day. Still naked, of course, but I was pleased.

Day three and a stark message that my new scales were rubbish. My weight was up a kilo! And, I'd done nothing to encourage it.

Actually I'd done nothing other than purchase the scales. Obviously I need to tweak my strategy a little and introduce some other components. Things like changing my eating habits and maybe even...horror...a little exercise.

Losing weight is not going to be as straight forward as I had hoped.

Holiday

There were exactly 43 people tonight, I counted us all, in the small space that is the Stables Theatre for the performance of 'Holiday'.

Two men have a casual conversation. There is no back history, no narrative, no conflict, no story development. The conversation leaps from one unconnected thought to another. The conversation is punctuated by lengthy silences that would have made Harold Pinter proud. The two actors also sing a few medieval sounding songs along the way.

Not a typical night at the theatre for me but early misgivings about having picked this work to see were gradually overtaken by a grudging enjoyment. The two actors, Paul Lum and Patrick Moffatt, handle an awkward work well.

Rachel Getting Married

Anne Hathaway has come home from rehabilitation to participate in her sister's wedding celebrations. As so often happens at this time in a family's history, the past intrudes, dirty laundry is aired and a few home truths are exchanged.

From the opening credits on, the film has the feel of a family home movie. It is as though the audience is eavesdropping on reality. A long scene of the wedding rehearsal dinner where guests take turns to toast the bridal couple at times borders on the embarrassing and feels very real.

Hathaway, who has been nominated for an Academy Award for this performance, has a far edgier role than we are used to seeing her in and is totally believable.

This is not a movie with a storyline. It is a snapshot of a family over a couple of days which reveals characters with their flaws and foibles.

Breakfast delight

ABC Television has been running a special Sunday breakfast news program this morning covering the bush fires. One of the presenters is Paul Kennedy. I don't recall seeing him previously. Kennedy has a rather droning, monotone voice but his looks easily outweigh the negatives of his voice. I think he is very sexy.

actually, occasionally, you know?

I've been switching between four channels providing ongoing coverage of the bush fire tragedy in Victoria this morning.

It seems the nature of these type of 'breaking news' programs that television journalists desperate to keep the viewers' attention for the next big development which never quite seems to come engage in repetitive reporting. The better journalists camouflage this repetition through a wide vocabulary but the less skilled flounder on pet phrases or descriptors that jar after a while.

I've lost count this morning of the number of times I have heard 'actually', 'occasionally' and 'you know'.

You know?

Victorian tragedy

Melbourne had it's hottest ever day yesterday when the temperature reached 46.4c (115.5f).

Shockingly, powerful winds fanned huge bush fires across the state and at the time of this post 14 people have been confirmed to have died in them and fears are held for another 25 who are missing.

My condolences to all those who have lost loved ones in the fires.

There are also bush fires in my home state of New South Wales but thankfully so far no fatalities here.

UPDATE: The latest confirmed death toll in Victoria is 181.

Some loving

It has been a long time since I have had some sex. Correction; it has been a long time since I have had some loving sex of the tender touchy feely type rather than the slam bam thank you man type where scarcely a word is exchanged let alone any tenderness.

I need some of the former. Well, I want some of the former but at the moment there is no one on my horizon likely to be providing it. It is a state I have been in before and in the past I have usually ended up visiting a sauna for something different.

It is not that I expect to find the love of my life at a sauna. I have long given away the notion that I would find the man of my dreams at one of these establishments. They can be soulless meat markets where you tread the endless carousel being followed around by men you are not interested in all whilst you are following men you are interested in but who are not interested in you.

I suppose that I have visited a sauna about once every nine months or so over the past few years after having been a more periodic patron in earlier years. The best that I have experienced is the occasional passionate 'rumpy pumpy' that vaguely simulates emotional closeness but as often as not sauna sex turns into a lustful race to sexual relief between two or more men who will just as quickly go their own ways once the deed is done.

But I remain ever optimistic that I will find someone for me, just not at the sauna.

Mission accomplished

Now to tie up some loose ends as they say in Bureaucracy land.

My battle with Telstra is over and, I believe, won.

The Department of Fair Trading telephoned me last Thursday to acknowledge my complaint and give me instructions on steps to take before they could formally speak to Telstra on my behalf. I followed those instructions immediately and within two hours of that call from DFT I had received calls from Telstra and Foxtel arranging my requested Pay TV upgrade with the appointment even arranged for the day and time of my preference. I didn't post about this progress at the time for fear that I would jinx it happening.

But happen it did yesterday and all within half an hour too. Based on that one experience it seems that Telstra will jump when DFT comes a calling so I would recommend anyone taking that route if they have a complaint against Telstra not involving telephone or internet services.

Easing the financial burden

Here is a company easing our pain in the current financial difficulties.

A dog of a day

Warning to dog owning readers: this posting may be inflammatory.

I live in a well-to-do area whose post code regularly features as number one or two in Australia's wealthiest post codes. My contribution to this ranking is modest, if not invisible and I hasten to add that this ranking comes from the Tax Office and therefore relates only to admitted taxed earnings.

Apparently with this wealth comes a predilection to owning animals, particularly animals of the four legged variety. Again I am not really a member of this club. I do not own an animal.

My neighbours, in the suburban rather than apartment building sense, are seen in great profusion around the neighbourhood walking their dogs. It is a fine scene which adds to the atmosphere and I love seeing it.

These 'dog people' congregate at a local 'shopping village'; an upmarket name for shopping centre where they and their dogs establish an obstacle course for those without dogs who are actually there for shopping as distinct from animal accompanied socialising. I don't love this aspect.

I don't shop in the 'village' other than at two food stores (one chicken oriented, the other pasta oriented) for take away meals. I do it far too often for my health but the meals are to my liking and of good standard for 'fast food' outlets. I don't shop at the other stores in the 'village' because their prices are well above what the equivalent stores elsewhere in the neighbourhood charge.

So what have my food buying habits got to do with dogs?

Well, for as long as I have been alive - which is a very long time - health regulations in Australia have barred dogs, other than guide dogs for vision impaired shoppers, from being brought inside food stores. But in my neighbourhood, many of the dog owners don't see regulations or laws as being applicable to them.

This flouting of health regulations irritates me. The considerate owners leash their dogs to nearby posts on the footpath whilst they shop but the inconsiderate ones, coincidentally often the most garish in dress and appearance, stride around the stores with their four legged 'children' in tow, even in hand.

I try to discipline myself and remain civil but occasionally I lose it and make some tart comment to the offender risking pet rage in response. Today, Society Madam had her dog in tow inside the chicken store and when I politely commented to her that I didn't think she was permitted to bring her dog inside Society Madam blithely informed me that it was OK as it was her dog.

If I had been quick enough, I should have responded tartly "Oh what a surprise, you look like a down and out who picks strays up in the street". Instead I simply pointed out that ownership was irrelevant, it was against regulations for the dog to be in the store.

Society Madam glowered at me, then stepped outside the store with dog in hand and continued her purchasing from the footpath shouting her instructions across the store from outside all the time muttering darkly to passers by. I imagine she was pointing out the Dog Hating Old Queen to everyone whose attention she could muster.

I don't feel bothered

It must be a combination of the warm weather and humidity and the late nights watching Rafael Nadal into the early morning hours playing his semi final and final match at the Australian Open. I feel most lethargic today. I could quite happily have curled up on a bed at the hospital today and now that I am back home I am fighting the urge to hop into my bed.

I have a game of bridge to play tonight so I will have to stay alert somehow. I'm not sure how but keying this post is probably not going to do it.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Milk

Sean Penn plays Harvey Milk, the first openly gay official elected in California. It covers the period from his fortieth birthday to his assassination eight years later.

The film blends archival footage with movie footage so skillfully that the entire film has the feel of a documentary. After a while I scarcely noticed the switches between archive and movie. Milk captures the feel of its period (1970-78) very effectively and brought back many memories for me of those times in little details such as body type, clothing and hair styles.

The cast is strong and both Penn and Josh Brolin have been nominated for Academy Awards but for me the best performance is by James Franco.

It surprised me to realise that I was in San Francisco the same year that Harvey Milk was engaged in those political rallies in the lead up to his assassination and yet I know so little about the man.

I presume that Harvey Milk had negative aspects to his character but there is little evidence of them in the film.

I think the film is very moving and it brought tears to my eyes on three or four occasions. Very few films have had that effect on me.

Immune to violence?

Am I becoming immune to violence? I have never considered myself a violent person nor have I condoned violent actions by others.

I really enjoyed seeing the movie Slumdog Millionaire just before Christmas and although I was conscious that it depicted violent actions I was not concerned by those scenes. I was far more focused on the triumph of the main character against great obstacles and scarcely gave the violence a thought other than as a fascinating insight into the tribulations faced by some in a world so different from my own.

At first, feedback from friends was that they had enjoyed the film just as I had done. Now I have three unconnected friends who have commented how much they disliked the film because of its violence. One friend tells me she was traumatised by the film and another walked out of it early.

Isn't it interesting just how different people's perceptions can be of the one movie.

Not a-twitter today

Just as well I'm not into Twittering as I would have nothing to twitter about at the moment.

It was busy at the hospital today without anything remarkable arising. The most out of the ordinary event being the patient who prior to being admitted to the ward took time out to seek some needy individual on the street who could make use of his travel pass for the remainder of the day.

Another patient facing surgery later in the day wanted a coffee and asserted his doctor had instructed him to drink plenty of coffee in the lead up to the procedure. Of course, this was the exact opposite of what the doctor had instructed him but I suppose it was worth a try in his view.

Anyway, in keeping with my day of unremarkable activity it's time to do the laundry. Mmmmm, yes I know, pretty boring stuff. Sorry.

I'm an Ox

(City of Sydney logo)

I neglected to mention Chinese New Year last Sunday.

This year is the Year of the Ox and I am an Ox. So it is a milestone year for me in Chinese eyes and indeed in my own eyes as I turn 60 during it.

According to the City of Sydney's website;

People born in the Year of the Ox are placid, patient and have great physical stamina. They are born leaders who stubbornly defend their opinions against any argument. 2009, the Year of the Earth Ox, brings additional straightforwardness and solidity to the Ox making them loyal and focused, with honesty and kindness.

I won't tell you which bits of that accurately describe me and which bits do not.

Anyway, 恭喜發財 to those celebrating this festival.

It's still the same old story....play it again Sol...

Telstra CEO, Sol Trujillo, weaving his magic to conjure up my High Definition Foxtel service.

You may be wondering how I have progressed with my attempts to lure some service out of Telstra.

The answer is not that far.

My formal complaint to Telstra generated a speedy automated acknowledgement stating that a consultant would endeavour to reply to my correspondence within two days. Two weeks on, there has been no response.

I approached the Telephone Industry Ombudsman and was told they can only pursue complaints about Telstra's telephone and Internet services, not its provision of pay television. When I asked whether the TIO would pursue Telstra's failure to respond to my complaint, I was told the same thing; only in relation to telephone or Internet services. The TIO referred me to the NSW Department of Fair Trading.

I approached DFT and their immediate reaction was to refer me to the TIO. When I pointed out that the TIO had referred me to them, they told me how to make my referral to DFT which I did the same day. So far, a week later, no response, not even an acknowledgement.

I also wrote to my Federal Member of Parliament asking for his office's assistance with Telstra but so far no response or acknowledgement from him either.

I have also made two further calls to Telstra (making five calls in all) and spoke to three further operators (bringing to eleven the number of operators I have spoken to). The latest of these operators, An, seemed the most clueful so far and also is the first to acknowledge how appalling Telstra's service must seem to me. An kept me on hold for over half an hour whilst he attempted to sort out the problem and it may be that some progress is about to occur. According to An, he has been able to update my current Foxtel package on Telstra's system which is a prerequisite to then processing the High Definition upgrade.

However for reasons I don't understand, the package update takes 48 hours to work its way through Telstra's system so I have to wait that period before Telstra can then process the upgrade.

Watch this blog.

Revolutionary Road

It is 1955 and Revolutionary Road is the neighbourhood where the upwardly mobile families reside. Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio and their two children are amongst them, publicly the ideal family but privately unhappy and yearning for something different.

Each day, DiCaprio, commutes to the city, just one amongst a sea of grey-suited male breadwinners who occupy meaningless positions in the skyscraper offices.

This is a movie full of unhappy people and if you weren't feeling depressed before seeing it the odds are you might feel that way when you leave it.

There were some light moments although I wasn't certain whether these were intended or a consequence of weaknesses in the screenplay. The performances are mostly strong with occasional moments of melodrama. Michael Shannon, nominated for an Academy Award for his performance in this movie, stands out in the flamboyant role of an acquaintance under treatment for a nervous breakdown and regarded as crazy who ironically is the only one who sees what really is happening.

Doubt

At a Catholic school in New York in 1964, Meryl Streep is the feared Nun at odds with Philip Seymour Hoffman's Priest whom she accuses of acting improperly with a schoolchild.

Set almost entirely within the grounds and rooms of the school, the film depicts the discord between traditional religious beliefs against progressive religious views and contrasts the austere lives of the Nuns versus the chummy comfort of Priestly life. The audience observes the central conflict driving the story and is left to reach its own conclusions or doubts about where the truth lies.

This film, based on the Pulitzer Prize winning play which I saw a few years back at the Sydney Theatre Company, is superbly written and acted. Unsurprisingly, the four key performers all have been nominated for Academy Awards.

The score is love all

Last night I tuned into the Australian Open on my new super-duper 46" LCD television screen as Fernando Gonzalez was doing battle with Richard Gasquet.

It was close to the end of the third set and it appeared that Gasquet was about to win in straight sets. But Gonzalez fought back and with Gasquet struggling with injury the match turned into a thrilling slug fest of brilliant hitting and sensational winning shots.

Every now and then, I turned over to catch glimpses of the Rafael Nadal/Tommy Haas match being played at the same time but it seemed very tame by comparison. Not that the players were tame; on the contrary all four men are sexy - each in their own way.

But getting back to the Gonzalez/Gasquet match, each player had to call for medical attention and I was able to view close-ups of their tortured looking feet on my huge screen but more interestingly close ups also of their nice hairy legs. Well, at least Gasquet had hairy legs, it seemed that Gonzalez's beautifully tanned pins were smooth like professional cyclists' legs. I wonder if Gonzalez shaves his legs?


(Gonzalez)

Anyway, Gonzalez eventually won the over four hours long match 12-10 in the fifth set. It was a terrific match and a great (sexy) view.


(Gasquet)

Hot and cold

This hot swimmer is a cool image on another heatwave Sydney day.

After heat...

In case anyone out there is wondering how I got on in last night's heat the evidence of my subsequent post, after midnight, of the Academy Awards nominations would indicate that relief was not to hand (so to speak).

Well I made a pretty vigorous fist of it (to coin a phrase) around 2.30am and almost completed the job but as I predicted did not reach home base. Thankfully, though, it was enough for me to finally find sleep. Still, I feel exhausted this morning.

81st Academy Awards

The nominations are being announced as I post.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is nominated for 13 Academy Awards and Slumdog Millionaire is nominated for 10 Academy Awards.

Best Film

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Frost/Nixon
Milk
The Reader
Slumdog Millionaire

Best Actor

Richard Jenkins - The Visitor
Frank Langella - Frost/Nixon
Sean Penn - Milk
Brad Pitt - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Mickey Rourke - The Wrestler

Best Actress

Anne Hathaway - Rachel Getting Married
Angelina Jolie - Changeling
Melissa Leo - Frozen River
Meryl Streep - Doubt
Kate Winslet - The Reader

Best Supporting Actor

Josh Brolin - Milk
Robert Downey Jr - Tropic Thunder
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Doubt
Heath Ledger - The Dark Knight
Michael Shannon - Revolutionary Road

Best Supporting Actress

Amy Adams - Doubt
Penelope Cruz - Vicki Cristina Barcelona
Viola Davis - Doubt
Taraji P Henson - The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler

Heat

It is too hot. It has just passed 10pm and the official temperature is still 29c after a day in the high 30s.

I know it will be difficult to sleep tonight especially as I am in need of another type of relief just at the moment that I would usually manage for myself but in this heat will find difficult to achieve. I better not say any more.

There will be a lot of fruitless tossing and turning in bed tonight.

As easy as...0000000

I pay most of my bills through the Internet using the BPay system and certainly find it far more convenient than the 'olden days' of writing and sending off cheques or lining up at the Post Office to make payments.

The system seems to work well and is pretty simple. However one of my recurring payments has a reference number of twenty digits. Twenty! There is so much scope for miskeying that reference number, especially as there are seven, count em, seven consecutive zeroes within the reference. Is such a long reference number really necessary? Most of my other bills make do with far shorter numbers; one recurring bill manages with just a three digit number.

Hope for the future

At about the moment that this (pre-ordered) post is scheduled to appear, Barack Obama is being sworn in as President of the United States.

There is a lot of excitement and anticipation surrounding Obama's Presidency. Let's hope our expectations do not overwhelm him, that his actions and achievements justify the current hopeful mood and that he is well supported rather than impeded by the Government agencies and bureaucracy.

I've Loved You So Long

Kristin Scott Thomas on release from prison goes to stay with her sister and family where they discover each other anew.

The French approach their films so differently from how Hollywood would handle the same storyline. There are no great pyrotechnics apart from the climactic finale. Key details are revealed quietly and at intervals and for the majority of the film the scenes unfold slowly allowing for character development.

Friends had raved about this film before I saw it and probably oversold its qualities to me so that it wasn't quite what I was expecting but I still enjoyed it as an interesting story well told.

Its all Greek to me...

Last Saturday night was the night we were to have attended Priscilla Queen of the Desert: The Musical. We had received our tickets but were sent refunds when the show closed earlier than scheduled just before Christmas.

Fs still had her air tickets for Sydney for the weekend and flew up for a bit of R&R and shopping instead. I caught up with her on the Saturday afternoon and we went to the movies to see I've Loved You So Long which I will post about separately. We met up at Dendy Opera Quays which has a great location for a visitor to the Sydney who is going to spend time at the movies. The backdrop of the Harbour Bridge and Opera House, the milling crowds and imaginative buskers late on a sunny Saturday afternoon constitute a minor tourist experience all of their own.

As we made our way around the Quay after the movie I heard my name being called. Amongst all those crowds were Ly and Mt with whom I worked for years prior to our respective retirements. They had just completed a sunset Harbour dinner cruise, a Christmas gift from their sons, and were waiting to meet up with the boys. As it was only 6.45pm and with still more than an hour of daylight to go I thought it odd that they had already completed a 'sunset' activity and their dinner too. They didn't seem to mind; a sign of our age group I suppose.

We chatted a while and then Fs and I caught a bus downtown to have dinner at Diethnes, a Greek restaurant as old as I am. Fs had a posting to Athens a few years back and was keen to have a Greek meal so this old warhorse located reasonably close to where she was staying at the Haymarket seemed a good idea. I hadn't been to Diethnes for at least fifteen years and that last visit was probably at least fifteen years after my previous visit.

It is not bad value. A lot of the mains are less than $20. The servings are hearty and the service is speedy and fairly attentive. After a lot of umming and ahhing about what to order we settled on sharing a Mixed Dip for starters and then each ordered the Diethnes Special, which was lamb with a selection of their savoury mains.

This meal, just twenty four hours after Dear Doctor had instructed me to watch my diet and exclude almost every tasty food I love was perhaps not such a good idea. The lamb was tender and the savoury selection enjoyable but overall the meal was much more than I should have attempted to eat. I could feel the meal sitting in my stomach as we chatted at the table and I worried that I might stop breathing at any moment.

Rather than disgrace myself by falling ill at the restaurant I suggested to Fs that I walk her back to her hotel without delay. This would help me digest all that food sitting in my stomach and recover some sense of well being.

I have Afod's exhortation to eat smaller portions ringing in my ears even as I type.

Decisions...decisions...

(The New Yorker)

As Eddy is inclined to say...it sucks that gays have to come out again and again.

Ford Model T - 100 Years Later

Something a little different from me. A history lesson.

Physician: Heal thyself

I went to the doctor this morning to have my ongoing prescriptions renewed having reached the end of my 'repeats'.

I was expecting the visit to be straightforward as I have been feeling fine and am unaware of any new health issues. He checked my weight, blood pressure and body fat - checks he routinely carries out on most of my visits and for good measure (not to mention a higher fee) he also got me to undergo an ECG as it had been a while since I'd been tested. I don't like the ECG test. Those clamp things give me a creepy feeling as though cockroaches are crawling over my body. I'm sure my blood pressure soars when I have the ECG test.

Thankfully all these tests were satisfactory but dear Doctor was in a mood to be difficult and he gave me a hard time about improving my upper body. No doubt he was speaking with an eye to my waistline which I know is a couple of inches above the ideal. He once again banished me from eating everything that I find remotely tasty and this time suggested I take up yoga. Previous 'prescriptions' have included running around Centennial Park, swimming at Boy Charlton Pool and (best of all) daily masturbation to ward off prostate cancer.

I wouldn't mind these exhortations so much if it wasn't that dear Doctor is no svelte figure himself. He is at least twenty years younger than I and possibly as many kilos heavier despite being centimetres shorter. He always appears red faced to me.

But I know he means well so I suppose I should try, yet again, to work on trimming my weight. After the appointment I went across to Centennial Park and walked one circuit as a show, to myself, of good intentions. Unfortunately I did undo the value of that activity by stopping at the cake shop immediately after for an apple slice but, hey, I have to start somewhere.

Marley & Me

Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston embark on married life by moving to South Florida and acquiring a dog, the incorrigible Marley. The film traces their lives and the impact of Marley upon them.

It occurred to me watching this film that it is a movie version of a blog diary documenting the daily highs and lows of marriage and family life. Nothing remarkable happens to the family but the story is engaging anyway. I have liked Aniston every time I have seen her and I feel she is an underrated performer. I am less keen on Wilson mainly because his voice irritates me somewhat but I quite liked the way jeans and trousers sit on his body in this film.

Although I have never been much of an 'animal person' I enjoyed the antics on view.

A surprisingly pleasant movie.

You can say that again!

"Prepare to be amazed", the Telstra advertisement boasts. Well, I certainly am but not in the positive way Telstra intends.

I subscribe to Foxtel (pay television) through Telstra as part of a 'bundled' package that is supposed to deliver a discount per bundled service. After my new television was connected on Monday I called Telstra to order an upgrade in my Foxtel service to its IQ HD+ service. I thought the request should be straight forward but I failed to reckon with Telstra's amazing lack of customer service.

I called a generic 13 hundred number which seemed to be Telstra's sole way of permitting customers to contact it by phone. Every call to this number involves a battle of wits with its automated answering 'voice' which steers you through various gates then places you in a queue listening to mindless music and the occasional Telstra message. Eventually you are put through to an Operator who can be anywhere in Australia (and perhaps overseas too, for all I know).

So what happened?

Operator No 1 asked how he could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. He then started to process my order and placed me on music hold whilst he did so. After about ten minutes he returned to tell me their systems were frozen and it might take a very long time to clear. He said that I should call back after an hour and try again.

Hello? Telstra, Australia's biggest provider of Internet systems which it wants all Australians to take up, has frozen systems? I see.

Operator No 1 gave me a so called direct line (an 18 hundred number) to use for my next call.

An hour later I called the 1800 number. After the automated voice, music hold and queue process I got through to Operator No 2. She asked how she could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. She then started to process my order and placed me on music hold whilst she did so. After about five minutes she returned and told me that my account had been upgraded to a new system but she only had access to an old system so she needed to transfer me to another Operator.

Hello? Telstra has staff using superseded systems?

Operator No 2 transferred me to another Operator.

After the automated voice, music hold and queue process I got through to Operator No 3. She asked how she could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. She then started to process my order and placed me on music hold whilst she did so. After about thirty minutes (I kid you not) she returned to say the systems were going slowly and my order was somewhere in transit. She said she would need to monitor my order the next day and promised to call me late on Tuesday to confirm that it had transmitted and was proceeding.

Hello? Telstra's systems 'go slow'?

I asked Operator No 3 how I could follow through with her and she airily answered just ring 'the same number' I rang to get to her. I knew this was not a goer but was not up to arguing the point with a night of bridge ahead for me.

Late Tuesday, I returned from my day in the Blue Mountains but there had been no call nor message from Telstra. I called the 1800 number again. After the automated voice, music hold and queue process I got through to Operator No 4. She asked how she could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. I did so and although I tried to restrain myself I started to complain about Telstra's appalling service. This turned out to be a mistake. Operator No 4 said her area was not the correct one to handle my booking and she promised to transfer me directly to a competent relevant Operator. The phone appeared to go dead. No music, no recorded message, nothing. I assumed that Operator No 4 had cut me off.

Now I was angry.

I looked up Telstra's website for its complaints procedure but amongst endless words of customer service, assurances, promises and the like only an email address or the same 13 hundred number I started with on Monday are provided.

I rang the 13 hundred number. After the automated voice, music hold and queue process I got through to Operator No 5. He asked how he could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. I told him I have a complaint but it turned out he sold mobile phones and couldn't handle complaints. He transferred me to another Operator who he assured me would be able to deal with my problem.

After the automated voice, music hold and queue process I got through to Operator No 6. He asked how he could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. He then told me Telstra's systems were frozen and he couldn't investigate my order at that moment.

Hello? Telstra's systems are stalled again?

There was nothing I could do but ring back later Operator 5 told me. He added that he had worked at Telstra for a long time and this was the first time he had known the systems to stall. That's funny I said because the systems were stalled twenty six hours earlier when I embarked on what I thought would be a simple order. He sympathised but said he couldn't really do anything at his location whilst the system was down but suggested he try transferring me to another office where the systems might be working.

After the automated voice, music hold and queue process I got through to Operator No 7. I asked her first whether the systems were working at her location. She hesitated momentarily but said, yes they were. She asked how she could help me then asked me to provide my telephone number, full name and date of birth for identification and security purposes. I explained the full story. She said she would look into my order and placed me on music hold whilst she did so.

Ten minutes later, a new voice appeared online asking how she could help me. This turned out to be Operator No 8. I explained that I was waiting for Operator No 7 to return as promised but it transpired she had just transferred me to Operator No 8 without taking any new action herself. I went through the whole sorry story yet again and Operator No 8 (who sounded the most informed of the lot) said the obvious (that the others should not have been transferring me around the country) and she asked me to wait whilst she tried to sort it out.

I was placed on music hold. This continued for over thirty minutes and at times I wondered whether anyone was actually still attending to me. I held on because I had become determined to outlast Telstra.

Amazingly Operator No 8 did return. She told me that my order had been placed but that it was marked with an error message. The upshot of it, according to Operator No 8, was an IT problem at Telstra.

Hello? Telstra has IT problems?

Operator No 8 told me that programmers had updated the computer systems and the changes were corrupting old accounts like mine that hadn't changed with the updates. Operator No 8 went on to tell me that she had emailed the IT unit explaining the problem but that it would take at least five days to resolve and she asked me to call back on the generic line after that time to check progress. Why did I have to call back? Because Telstra had no provision for Operators to initiate calls to customers. I doubted this but by then I was truly amazed; just not the way Telstra had promised.

I will change providers.

In the meantime I have initiated a formal complaint with Telstra. I expect they will amaze me with their response in due course.

A blue day in the mountains

I was reminded by Firehorse's posting that it had been a long time since I last travelled the couple of hours west from where I live in Sydney to visit the Blue Mountains.

These are not mountains in the sense of the Himalayas or the Alps but they certainly are an easily accessible scenic location. Having nothing else organised for today and the weather forecast being promising I drove up to Katoomba, one of the main towns in the vicinity, this morning and then on to nearby Echo Point where the main lookout is located.

Although the day was clear with a cloudless blue sky a haze surrounded the mountains giving them the promised blue hue.


The adjacent three outcrops known as the Three Sisters were in much clearer light and quite a few people were making their way down the track to view them close up. If you click on the photograph you can just make out the walking bridge from the track to the first of the 'sisters' on the left.


I was happy to view from afar. After soaking up the sun and the view I drove on around to Scenic World to see the Cable Car close up...


...and then the Scenic Railway. Being a little whoozy with heights I didn't use either although I probably would have if I had a friend accompanying me to give me courage (and a soothing hug).


As it was I was happy to view the 'sights' beyond the sights such as these two standing on the right...


...and these two on the left...


...not to forget these three...


...and best of all to my taste, this sexy soul who I would happily have stalked all the way around the mountains.

Connected

The new television was connected this morning.

Now...how does it work?

Today I am One

This is the first anniversary of the birth of my blog. I think I will have a slice of cake.

Lunch at Palmie

Hn hosted lunch yesterday at Palm Beach for Bt visiting from England and Sn who was down from Queensland.


Hn's place is not one of these water frontage Pittwater properties but a comfortable home two blocks back with just as pleasurable a holiday feel as the more upmarket properties.

There were twelve of us at lunch, each of us contributing something for the feast. Apart from barbecued chicken and sausages and chicken schnitzels there were green salads galore mostly with fruit features; mangoes being the most common. Two tarts, one fruit the other Strawberry, were dessert accompanying coffee and tea afterwards.

The overcast and cool weather evident in the photograph I took above gave way during lunch to sunny moments with the temperature rising to the comfortable low 20s Centigrade.


We lunched out the back looking across at Pittwater (above photograph) and it was the most enjoyable of the lunches I have attended there in some time.

As is our usual practice after lunches at Palm Beach we walked back down to Pittwater for a stroll along the beach. We love checking out the waterfront homes, seeing which is occupied that day and imagining the glamorous lifestyle being pursued in them. Every now and then we are lucky to see Speedo wearing groups of Adonis like men but there were none of those on display yesterday. There was a sole fit looking youngish man swimming long laps parallel to the beach for a while but otherwise the beach was eerily quiet by the time we got down to it. Not so surprising, I suppose, for a Friday afternoon, already after 5pm and rapidly cooling down in the face of fresh breezes.


We spent quite a long time discussing a huge new four level property at the southern end of the beach which is nearing completion. Our 'informed' and unanimous view was that the new building was a monstrosity that none of us would consider purchasing. The fact that none of us is within cooee of being wealthy enough to purchase such a home was left unspoken.

When we returned to Hn's six or seven Lorikeets had arrived in anticipation of being fed. They fluttered around a lot and I had difficulty getting a good picture of them. This photograph was the best of a poor lot. Unfortunately my camera's zoom facility is not the greatest so this picture is grainier than the others.


After another a coffee, it was time for the fifty minutes drive home.

Dump those Blogs

My stomach has been a little...um...unsettled this morning. It could have been the pepperoni pizza I ate last night.

So there I was browsing some of my regular blogs this morning feeling that any moment I will need to pay the bathroom another visit when in succession I read this followed by this.

You can guess what happened next.

The ups and downs of my day so far...

I arrived at bridge for my occasional Thursday lunchtime game. We play on the third floor of a building at Bondi Junction where I use the stairs as a token gesture to exercise and fitness raising. The many older players in the club gladly use the only elevator.

Today, however, that elevator was out of order and many of the players struggled up the stairs. My bridge partner usually arrives early for the game and I suspected something was up when she was not in the club when I arrived. I called her mobile and she was at the movies. We had mixed up our days.

Not a problem, I thought. There was plenty for me to do at home but when I returned and got into the elevator to go to my fifth floor apartment it wouldn't budge. There I was having avoided an out of order elevator at bridge only to be stuck in the elevator in my own building. After ten minutes the elevator door opened with me still on the ground floor. I changed over to the other elevator which thankfully was operating.

I think I shall walk down the stairs rather than risk more elevator hi jinks when I have to go back out again this afternoon.

Your next patient is here, Doctor

What seems to be the problem?



(Excerpt from forthcoming episode of Nip/Tuck)