And so say all of us......

'The service I received from Telstra today was excellent.' Said no-one ever.

A technician called to deal with my complaint of pixellation, frozen screens and jumped scenes in recordings through my subscription television service.

I kept several recordings online as examples. He conducted some tests and identified several problems. One being that my signal strength was low; he quoted a reading of 'minus 2'. The other problem in his view was that the original installation provide a 'five way splitter', when all I require is a 'three way splitter'. That is, I only require a signal to split three ways (one to each of the two subscription services I run and one for the internet connection itself.

He replaced the 'splitter' and did whatever it was that produced a signal strength of 'plus 7'.

Whilst he was investigating the problem I asked if he could cut the excess cabling I was left with from the installation. For three years I have had literally metres and metres of excess cabling on my lounge room floor from the miscalculation the installer made of how much cabling I needed. The technician initially declined firmly to touch the cabling at all which was a disappointment but then when he found the jungle of cables overwhelming him as he worked to replace the splitter he changed his mind and to my delight cut much of the excess cabling. I was delighted.

Initially it seemed the technician had solved the recording problems. The first couple of programs recorded perfectly. Unfortunately problems have returned but to nowhere near the extent previously. I suspect the set top box itself, which was not examined by the technician, is playing up.

Not a valid response from Foxtel

I'm having a problem with my subscription television service, Foxtel. Specifically, my recorded programs are being compromised by the intrusion of pixellation, frozen moments and jumps through scenes. Live television service is not affected. I suspect there is a problem with the personal recording  unit.

I first reported this problem back in April and it appeared to be remedied at that time by a system reset.

However the same problems returned gradually a few weeks later and have increased in frequency ever since.

Today I called the technical support call centre which by the accent of the operator handling my call and the voices I could hear in the background is located in India. I wasn't happy with the service I received.

The operator asked for my account number and when I failed to provide it immediately - I was scanning my documentation to locate that information - she repeated 'account number, account number, account number' perhaps a dozen times without a moment's pause. Once I had provided the number she excused herself for a conversation with a colleague in a local language which I could hear before returning to my call and then asking - as though for the first time - for the number again.

This sent her into bursts of laughter which continued for about a minute. Then followed a number of questions one of which didn't seem relevant to me. When I queried the question the operator offered no explanation for it and just moved on to other questions.

By this time I lost patience and asked several times to be transferred to another operator. This request was ignored totally. I didn't bother asking for a supervisor as from previous experience I know the answer always is that there isn't one available.

This was one occasion when I held on for the follow up call asking me to rate the service. To each rating my response was 'not satisfied'. Each of these was met with the automated system informing me that mine was 'not a valid response'. (A number system of ratings is used.)

I did comply with the numbered ratings at each prompt but Foxtel, I can tell you your call centre service is not a valid response to customer expectations.

One pest too many

The pest control man visited this morning. The appointment was for 8am. He rang at 8.30am to apologise that he was running late because the prior appointment took longer than expected. He was at Marrickville and would be with me shortly. Oh no, he wouldn't, I thought. Not at that peak time. The traffic would be too heavy. Of course he wasn't with me shortly. He arrived at 9.30am.

He was quite thorough spraying in every room and applying his magic sticky stuff in dobs on every internal hinge he could find. All the while, he talked. And talked.

He'd recently relocated from Perth, Western Australia. He is starting a new life. He is divorced. He doesn't want more children. If he finds a new 'woman' he wants her to be ten years older than him so there will be no young children. He is almost a grandfather at nearly 41 years of age. The traffic in Sydney is far worse than in Perth. The view from my apartment is fantastic. The rent must be huge. I must be a lawyer or a doctor to live here. You can buy a whole house in Perth for under $500,000 but not so in Sydney. His rent in Sydney is $$$$$ .......... And so and so forth.

All that in about fifteen minutes.

Once he departed I felt that at least one pest had been eradicated.

Jennifer McGrath

WARNING: This post contains an expletive.

I've been receiving daily emails from a person (business or bot?) using the name in the heading. I sense the sender is using the email connected with this blog and therefore may have been a reader.

The emails read;

There is a fine line between good service and being a pain, I sent you through an email a few days ago in regard to organizing a time to chat about your business and to see if online marketing could be a viable option for your business.

Understanding you are busy, I wanted to ascertain if you were interested in having a chat?


The fact that I have not replied to a single one of your emails (sent daily, not a few days apart as suggested in the emails) should be sufficient message that I am not in the slightest interested in chatting with you.

If Jennifer McGrath is reading this post then my message to you is.........fuck off.

Let me tell you about the bank....

AdRad commented on my blog recently about my unprecedented letters of complaint to several bureaucracies (Qantas and Bupa). He is a perceptive young man, that AdRad.

To confirm those perceptions I am about to fire off a complaint to a third organisation, this time my bank.

The background to my complaint is what happened here.

On 26 February I was told by what was almost certainly an overseas call centre* that I would receive a replacement for my compromised ATM card within five business days. When ten days passed without a new card arriving I called the centre back and was given conflicting information from the earlier advice but was assured my card would arrive within several days.

Yesterday, with still no replacement card received, I called the centre for a third time. The operator put me on hold then told me she would conduct investigations and call me back. She didn't.

Today, I went to my branch to make enquiries in person. It turns out that my replacement card hasn't arrived for the most obvious of reasons. I don't know what the call centre thought it was doing but no replacement card had been ordered.

That has now been rectified and I should be receive a new within 'five to seven days'.

We'll see.

(* All three calls were answered by operators with sub-continent accented English and the calls sounded as though they were travelling through a pipe.)

Eye, Eye, Sir

I haven't had any response yet to my letter of complaint to my health insurers about their online booking service, or more accurately non-service.

My eye examination was yesterday. It went well.

There is only the slightest change to my left eye and none to my right eye. The variation from the previous examination, two years ago, is minimal and there is no need for me to get new spectacles.

There is no evidence of macular degeneration. No evidence of cataracts. My eye pressure is 'excellent'.

All is well on the 'eye front'.

Flying low

My letter of complaint to Qantas about response times on their 'priority' line has not elicited the compensatory gifts predicted by Andrew.

I did, however, receive a telephone call from someone in Customer Service apologising for the delays, agreeing that these delays were unacceptable and 'assuring' me that my complaint and others on the same matter have been brought to the notice of senior management.

The assurance may be code for 'placed on file and closed' for all I know.

I've been compromised

My weekend is off to a bad start.

I came home to a message from my bank that my ATM card has been compromised and cancelled.

My card number and PIN were used five times today at a suburb 50kms from where I live. Person(s) unknown checked my balance, made two withdrawals and two other withdrawals were declined. I did not authorise the transactions, nor have I loaned out my card at any time, nor have I shared my PIN.

My guess is that the card was 'skimmed' when I was using it an ATM.

Following up this afternoon the bank has accepted a fraud was committed and I will be repaid the two unauthorised withdrawals.

Unfortunately I have to wait for a replacement card to be sent to me.

It is an awful feeling. At least this bank was quick to pick up the fraud unlike another bank a year ago who, until I raised the alarm, failed to notice literally dozens and dozens of unauthorised uses of my credit card within a couple of weeks amounting to around $3,000 of services in a city on the other side of the planet at a time when I was clearly home in Australia.

BUPA pooper

BUPA your service sucks.

A few years back the British based international healthcare group BUPA took over the health insurance company I belonged to for all my adult life.

A couple of weeks ago BUPA wrote to me advising that it was time for my 24 month eye examination. It invited me to make an appointment either by phone or online. The online instructions appeared simple and clear;

• Step 1 Visit www.bupaoptical.com.au
• Step 2 Click the 'Book and Appointment' link and the follow the steps

I followed those steps precisely nominating my appointment time at the Bondi Junction Optical Shop - the very shop referred to in BUPA's letter to me - from a schedule on the online site of half hourly times which commenced from 9am on the date I selected.

Within seconds I received an email from BUPA Optical Bondi Junction thanking me for my appointment request and continuing as follows;

'The team at Bupa Optical Bondi Junction look forward to serving your eyecare needs and will be in touch via phone or email to confirm your appointment.'

Twelve days later, with no email or phone contact from BUPA, I called into the Bondi Junction shop to confirm my appointment. The staff member checked and told me they had no record of my request; notwithstanding the email confirmation.

How can this be? Well, this is what she told me.

• The online booking system is not a 'live' site.
• The shop does not receive the data entered online.
• The times shown in the online site are not the actual times available for appointments but the hours the shop is open. (This comment makes no sense since the site lists half hourly slots.)
• Although the shop opens at 9am (or perhaps it is 9.30, that was not clear to me) eye examinations are not available until 11am.
• Earlier time slots for examinations are only available on Saturday hence are very popular and have to be booked far ahead.
• Her final advice was to book examinations by contacting the shop directly, not online.

Why, BUPA, do you send letters out inviting online booking when the online system is not active?
Why, BUPA, do you refer members to an online site that has appointment slots that don't exist in reality?
Why, BUPA, do you send email acknowledgements of online appointment requests when those requests die in cyberspace unrecognised and unknown to your shops?
Why, BUPA, do you not have eye examination timeslots that your working members can attend outside of their working hours or that your members can attend with minimal disruption to their work arrangements?

Why, BUPA, should I continue my membership with your organisation?

Qantas shame

I'm not in the habit of quoting commercial names in my post titles but have done so in this instance in the hope it may attract the company's attention and lead to some positive remedial action.

I am a life long traveller on our national carrier Qantas. I've remained loyal even in the face of criticism in recent years of its service, industrial relations practices, comparatively expensive fares and moves to off shore servicing of its fleet. I belong to its Frequent Flyer and Club Lounge groups paying handsomely for the dubious privileges that come with them.

I have more flights booked with Qantas in coming months.

Yesterday I received an email from Qantas notifying me that the details of one of these flights has been changed. The email asks me to ring on a priority number so that Qantas can explain these changes and confirm my new flight details. The email adds I can call at my earliest convenience 24 hours, 7 days a week.

I rang the priority number at 5.15pm yesterday and listened to recorded messages for one hour before giving up on the call. I can see that 5.15pm may be a busy time - business travellers and all that - so I decided I would try later.

I rang again at 9.30pm to be greeted by the message that the queue was 'more than one hour'. I gave up for the day.

This afternoon I tried ringing Qantas for a third time when I returned from work just after 3pm. Once again I was greeted with the message that the queue is 'more than one hour'. This is outrageous customer service. If this is the response on a priority line what service is being provided on a non-priority line?

As I key this post I have been in the queue for two hours and fifteen minutes! What makes the queueing even worse is that no indication is given whether you are moving forward in the queue. Maybe the call will never be answered. All you hear is the endless repetition of a loop of advertisements promoting the airline's service and products.

At the two hours and ten minutes mark I decided to use another phone to ring the general enquiry line for Frequent Flyer members and heard the message that the queue on that number was - you guessed it - more than one hour.

The call I was queued on was answered a short time later - an eventual wait of two hours and twenty minutes. The operator who handled the call was very polite and without prompting said they would welcome feedback. Reading between the lines (to mix metaphors) I think her comment was a silent plea to please report the unacceptable delays.

I am doing so here, publicly and will follow up with private correspondence.

Shame, Qantas, shame.

All Too Much (aka ATM)

I don't about you, dear reader, but is there anything more frustrating than dealing with a Telco or the bank? Which bank? Any bank!

Dear, oh dear I sometimes fear the worst when I have reason to deal with them.

This week my bank sent me a new ATM card to replace the card which expires at the end of the month. The accompanying letter instructed me to start using the new card, current PIN number and all immediately and to destroy the expiring card. No mention of 'activating' the card or some such intermediate step. It all sounded very simple. Too simple?

Yesterday morning I used the new card for the first time at my local branch.

The ATM thought momentarily before informing me the PIN was incorrect. Had I miskeyed? I tried again noting very carefully that I keyed the correct number. The ATM thought and again responded the PIN was incorrect.

I was not going to try a third time. I know from experience that a third strike means the ATM takes the card and stubbornly refuses to give it back. There was no way I wanted that happening three days out from a departure for overseas.

My local branch maintains archaic customer hours and I had to wait until opening time (9.30am) before seeking personal assistance. There was no explanation offered nor suggested for what happened.

The teller got me to reset the PIN; the same number as I was using with the previous card and that I had tried to use earlier.

The bank did confirm that 'activation' was not needed for an ATM only card but as for what went wrong when I tried to use it; I still have no idea.

One 'S' and one 'T' too many

Daylight saving time commenced overnight in those Australian states that participate.

I like it.

What I don't like is that rogue 'S' that sometimes accompanies it. My body cringes every time I hear certain television weather presenters (and others) refer to daylight savings. Please cease and desist this display of sibilance.

The one similar practice that irritates me even more is the rogue 'T' that emerges every year in June. The Championships at Wimbledon may well be enjoyed with strawberries and cream but never with 'T'. There is a place called Wimbledon. If there is also a place called Wimbleton then be assured it does not host a major tennis tournament.

Rant over.

Laptop crackpot

(from Dave Does The Blog)

How I feel this evening.

I spent the best part of four hours this afternoon assisting a friend to obtain satisfaction from the Dell support service. To put it bluntly her Dell laptop was 'cactus'. My friend could neither shut the laptop down nor restart it effectively nor could she access the internet or email even though the modem and the wireless connection were working.

No doubt my friend must take some of the blame as she unknowingly clogged the laptop with all manner of useless and possibly dangerous files but I have to say I wouldn't take possession of a Dell product even if it was offered to me for free on the evidence of her experiences. It didn't help that my friend took advice dispensed on ABC local radio last week to safeguard the security of her data - advice that she didn't really understand - and pressed four buttons which supposedly would permanently delete some unwanted documents but which instead seems to freeze everything.

To top off my frustrations I came home to find that Tradies, about to perform major maintenance on my apartment building, have dumped their heavy equipment in front of my garage without giving me any notice and completely blocked my access to it.

On the bright side though, my friend's laptop is now working again (but I no longer care).

One promise fulfilled; one not...

The replacement jeans promised by the retailer when I notified them of Australia Post's apparent mis-delivery of my purchase have arrived.

Well done Just Jeans.

By the way, no response yet from Australia Post to my formal complaint about their mis-delivery.

By online, buy often etc

There is a lot of discussion about online shopping versus in person shopping at retail outlets. Are shops and stores suffering because of an inability to match online prices; should the Goods and Services Tax apply online and if so at what level?

I've been shopping online for ages. That is; if you regard using my computer for theatre bookings, flight bookings, hotel reservations, car hire, travel insurance as online shopping. Even more so if you take into account online banking and payment of bills as online shopping. But I don't think that is what most people consider to be 'shopping'. I imagine most people think of online shopping as something you purchase online that has to be delivered to you.

I dipped my first toe in the water of online shopping about ten days ago. It has not gone well.

I tried on a pair of jeans at a store, found they fit well and that I liked them and decided I wanted to purchase multiple pairs. Unfortunately the store only had one pair in my size and two other stores in the same chain had none.

I went online to locate other stores in the chain that I could visit and found the jeans, in my size, available for purchase online. Not only available for purchase online but available for purchase $30 cheaper than the pair I purchased in the store.

Well, I thought, what better opportunity to start online shopping than this? I ordered and paid for the jeans online. I received an immediate email confirming the purchase and informing me I would be notified of the progress of the delivery of my purchase to my home. How wonderful!

True to the promise, two emails followed 'tracking' the delivery. Terrific, I thought.

Then something strange. A third email. My purchase had been delivered. But it hadn't. Not to me anyway. It was signed for by someone at Alexandria. I don't live at Alexandria. The delivery address was not Alexandria.

Now I'm in a formal complaints process with Australia Post to ascertain, who in Alexandria has taken delivery of my purchase, why they have done so and how do I get my purchase delivered to me.

I have nothing to wear

In the lead up to our recent holiday in South America and since then with a female friend travelling half way around the world on the Queen Mary 2 conversation turned to clothes. In short, my female friends, looking to buy travel worthy and fashionable clothing bemoaned the paucity of suitable items for women of their age.

Like me, they are in their early to middling 60s. What particularly annoyed them was their perception that the men's clothing stores feature such a huge range of clothes. 'You (that is, men,) have it so easy' they have shouted at me more than once. Yes, they literally shouted.

Well, the irony is that I see it the same - but in reverse. All I see in those multiple floors of women's fashion is an endless array of choice for my lady friends.

My lady friends say - ahem, shout - 'there is so much menswear on offer and it is all beautifully laid out for your selection' (accusing fingers pointed in my direction).

No, I reply in vain, probably shouting too. It is all a mirage. Once I discount items that do not suit me because of colour, fit, size and/or inappropriateness, what I am left with by way of choice is very limited indeed.

Cliches come to mind; you know, glass houses and green pastures and the like.

That's him, he is one of them......

.....a grumpy old man. Yes, I'm becoming one of them.

I can't go into a bank nowadays without losing my cool and entering into an argument with the staff.

It happened again this morning.

I went into my bank to purchase a modest amount of foreign exchange. All was proceeding smoothly with the attractive young teller with whom I would have flirted when I was three decades younger.

Then he asked me to sign documentation drawing specific attention that my signature would signify acceptance of the bank's privacy policy. I read and twice re-read one dot point in that policy that the bank may disclose my personal information to;

'...our external service providers that provide services for the purpose only of our business, on a confidential basis, for example to a mailing house...'

I concluded this meant my acceptance that the bank could pass on my information leading to me being targeted for unsolicited advertising. The teller couldn't explain the clause to me - although he had drawn my attention to it - but he agreed with my interpretation. I don't think he had a clue.

I asked to see the manager who turned about to be a 40 something suited Queen. He was summarily dismissive of my concern and in precise campy tones he told me, 'if you don't like it, you can go somewhere else'. I should have.

Deja Vu

It took only three days for me to have my first spat of the year with the telecommunications company whose name I do not utter. I truly dread any contact with them. It always seems to go off the rails.

What happened this time?

Last week I purchased a new dongle to use with my laptop. This was to replace the previous dongle I broke when I carelessly swung my lap top around in Brisbane's airport lounge. My fault.

The new dongle works fine apart from a seemingly superfluous extra step at each logon. I wanted to know why and what I could do about it.

I approached the ubiquitous 'triage' salesperson with his tablet in hand and explained my enquiry. He had no answer for it and placed me in the queue for their help desk. The delay would be 40 minutes and they would text me when my turn arrived.

OK. The delay turned out to be far less than forty minutes. A tick for the telecommunications company. The text said check in with the store now. So I did. A new 'triage' person with tablet in hand waved me to the help desk.

And there I waited, apparently invisible to any staff member. 'Triage' persons with tablets in hand continued to queue customers left, right and centre but very few of them were actually attending to any of the enquiries. Five minutes passed by. Ten minutes passed by. Still no staff member interrupted whatever was consuming their time to attend to me.

Eventually the help desk staff member who had been busy the entire time staring at his lap top lifted his head to enquire what I was doing loitering there. (He didn't use those words but that effectively was his tone.)

I explained my enquiry. He said he was too busy with customers (there were no others around us) to attend to me. I showed him the text message telling me my turn in the queue had arrived. 'I didn't send that', he said. Several minutes of argy-bargy about customer service ensued. When I indicated the tablet bearing staff member who had directed me to his desk he wearily deigned to investigate my enquiry. His eventual response? The dongle is working fine. He can't explain the superfluous step but as the dongle is working I should just put up with it.

It's his company that I 'put up with'.

'Day of shame'.....

...the headline in this morning's major Sydney newspaper. The newspaper was referring to yesterday evening's sudden resignation of the Speaker of the Australian House of Representatives in somewhat scandalous circumstances.

For a moment, though, I thought it was me who had made the front page of the newspaper. I have my own day of shame. I won't go into the details but I made critical comments to a staff member at the hospital for what I considered were deficiencies in the organisation of a training course. The staff member did not take my comments well and has lodged a complaint. I concede that I overstepped the mark so I have been asked to apologise in writing.

The great, the less than great and the anonymous all make their mistakes.