David fails his lawyer's exam

The theory is that a lawyer should never ask a witness a question for which they don't already know the answer. Otherwise the lawyer risks receiving the answer s/he doesn't want to hear.

Channel 7's morning show host David Koch is not a lawyer but in his role as media personality he asks guests, witnesses, if you like, plenty of questions. He should know the 'lawyerly' principle well.

At the moment five youths hailing from Britain and Ireland, I believe, are visiting Australia. Their visit is causing a bit of a stir. I'd never heard of any of them and their individual names mean nothing to me. As a fivesome, though, they have been referred to as One Direction.

You can tell they come from chilly Britain and Ireland because yesterday on the coldest April morning in Sydney for four years they went swimming in Sydney Harbour and sunbathed when any self respecting Aussie decided it was time to pull the jumpers from their wardrobes.

One Direction

Following an embarrassingly ingratiating interview with these youths on his morning television program David Koch strode amongst the hundreds (thousands?) of young enthusiasts (99% teenage females, it seems) watching from the adjoining streets to seek their reaction to seeing the group. 'Was it worth it coming?' 'Kochie' asked one young girl breathlessly. The immediate and firm response was simply 'NO'. The usually garrulous Kochie was momentarily speechless.

Recovering from this setback Koch moved on to a security guard amongst the team supervising the screaming young girls. 'Have you ever seen anything like this before?' Kochie beseeched almost begging for an affirmative answer. And what was the response from the guard? 'I've done a few of these and it was pretty standard.'

Stick to monetary policy Kochie, which is your expertise, and leave the pop-starts-du-jour to the Molly Meldrums of this world.

David Koch ('Kochie')