My adventures with Telstra - Episode #612

Two weeks ago I detailed my latest upset with Telstra. The upshot was that at the third attempt I was upgrading my internet plan as I wanted to do but at the cost of an additional $60 per month which I was not happy about. I was told that the change would take about 48 hours to effect.

That was two weeks ago and as at yesterday my plan had not changed. I was beginning to think that my third request, like the two that preceded it, had evaporated and I was coming to terms with staying on the plan that I have paid for these past few years. Then, unexpectedly, I received a call yesterday from Telstra asking whether I still wanted to proceed with the change. I was curious about the call and it's timing and was told that my request had been lost in the system and that the caller's area having been made aware of it was now working through 'the backlog' of requests; thus suggesting that I was not alone in being lost in Telstra.

This is familiar territory; excuses and lame explanations for lack of service by the communications giant. I'm afraid my tolerance threshold was pretty low and I politely but firmly informed the caller what I thought about Telstra adding for good measure that I would not pay Telstra a cent more than I do now and that they can keep their plan ('where the sun don't shine'; implied). End of call.

And then I pondered. I'd been a bit hasty. I'd forgotten the reasons I'd decided to change my plan in the first place. I couldn't get these thoughts out of my mind. Two hours later and realising that I wanted the changed plan - despite Telstra - I bit the bullet and rang them back.

Starting all over...and with another operator...this is Telstra after all...I was back on the 15 minutes long muzak-hold whilst my request was being 'provisioned'; whatever that means. According to this latest operator my request will take effect at midnight. Maybe, but I've received many promises like this in the past that have not been met.

But...and here is the fascinating thing, my changed plan this times comes at no variation in price. None at all! I queried how this could be, pressing my luck I know, and in a tone a parent might use to a truculent child the operator informed me that Telstra is always looking to be competitive and so they can offer me four times my current entitlement for the same price. Really?

Thinking it through I can see five possibilities;
(a) I am paying far too much for my current plan and Telstra can offer me a new plan for the same amount still at a hefty profit to themselves,
(b) I will be paying far too much for my new plan and Telstra can offer it to me for the same amount as my current plan still at a hefty profit to themselves,
(c) The operators have no idea of Telstra's price structures and simply pluck figures out of the air,
(d) None of the above but there is a secret price formula which is beyond my capacities for understanding,
(e) All of the above.

If I were a betting man I would put my money on (e).