Thursday, 7 February 2008

Play it again Sam

In the first episode the music was playing again as I embarked on my latest cyberdating.

I noticed 'the man' logged into Yahoo messenger so I messaged him to say hello and as it was within business hours I enquired if he was busy.

The music playing - lah de dah de dah.

The man: "Just a minute, I'm finishing chatting with a mate"
Me: "That's OK"

lah de dah de dah.

The man: "Sorry about that, how are you?"
Me: "Fine thanks, and you?"

lah de dah de dah - pleasantries exchanged.

The man: "Do you have webcam?"
Me: "Yes"
The man: "Would you like to go to that?"
Me: (thinks - are we moving to cybersex already? says "ok")

lah de dah de dah - webcams connected and viewing.

The man is in a bare room evidently fully dressed, I'm at home in my underwear....well that's what I had on at the time. I wasn't expecting webcam company!

More pleasantries exchanged. The man, it turns out, is in his office.

The man's webcam freezes.
Me: (thinks has he switched his cam off, does he not like what he sees?)
Me: "your cam has frozen" (echoes of Puccini, "your tiny hand is frozen")
The man: "Sorry, let me reconnect"
Me: (thinks - OK so my image hasn't scared him off yet)

lah de dah de dah - cams reconnected.

More pleasantries exchanged before his cam fails again.
Me: "your cam has frozen again"
The man: "do you have MSN?"
Me: "yes"
The man: "Can we move there?"
Me: "OK"

lah de dah de dah - we connect to MSN and cam through it.

Pleasantries turn to exploration of each other.
The man: "Have you always been gay?"
Me: "Yes....and you?"
The man: "Yes.....but I sublimated my feelings and married the first woman who came along....and we have three children aged 17, 15 and 13....and when I turned 45 my sexuality came to the fore....but my wife and kids don't know"

THUD - the music stops.

Me: (thinks WHOA! - says nothing)
The man: "Is that a problem for you?"
Me: (still thinks WHOA and then thinks that little detail wasn't in your profile.) Says lamely "well that's not my preference"
The man: "I'm not looking for a long term relationship and if we're not into each other sexually well at least we can be good friends"

THUD, THUD, THUD - music starts again lah de dah de dah only this time I recognise the tune as 'Play it again Sam'.

Yes, the same old same old - a married man and my dreams of growing old with my gay partner in a loving and sexual heaven have drained away.

We chat on very pleasantly for another 15 minutes. Then being the softy that I am when it is time to end our chat I agree to chat with him again.

He may become a new friend in time but in reality he is the latest cyber and real dating non-goer.

1 comment:

  1. Oh DEAR.

    Sorry to hear that. I have such empathy for men in that situation and was recently also in a position to start seeing a man also married with children.

    It was a difficult decision - but at the end of the day compromising on my life to entertain his is about as fair as expecting him to leave his wife, kids, and life for me.