Two fat ladies

We conduct a Bingo game most Wednesdays at the Day Centre where I volunteer. The games are set up in such a way that every participant gets to win at least once and to choose a prize from a basket of goodies when they do.

It all should be fairly simple and good natured but often it isn't. Because of their age and state of health, the players keep forgetting what game they are playing midstream, they mishear or fail to hear the numbers called, they fall asleep midstream or start talking loudly midgame preventing others from hearing the call. Then there is jealousy over the modest prizes. They are supposed to choose their prizes in the order in which they win their games but often they forget and start to argue amongst themselves over missing out on their preferred selection.

We (the two paid staff, the other volunteer and myself) would prefer to provide other activities in place of the bingo but the Wednesday group stubbornly sticks to the game despite the arguments they get into. Apparently the other daily groups have all willingly foresaken the bingo games over time but the Wednesday group will not entertain alternative suggestions.

So we plough on. The manager is so sick of doing the call that she has 'coerced' me into taking over and I have been doing most of the calls for months. I attempt to add some life to my calls with those lame phrases such '11, legs eleven'; '66, clickety click'; '88, two fat ladies' and the like which the Wednesday group seems to enjoy. But now I read that these calls have been stopped elsewhere over fears that they might draw legal action.

No-one tell our Wednesday group about this please!