Do you Henry Charles Albert David take Rachel Meghan?

Vanity Fair

There are many who probably wished that Henry Charles Albert David took Rachel Meghan as far away as possible from our televisions, radios, newspapers and social media sites. Their nuptials certainly took over the media waves to a degree rarely matched except by the most distressing of universal disasters or malevolent activity.

I joined my close friends for a curry night - that menu item was to prove strangely prophetic before the night was over - to watch the preliminaries, the ceremonies and the pageantry. After all, my Republican leanings notwithstanding, the British stage these Royal events so impressively.

Predictably just about everything was achieved with the reliability of Swiss clockwork. The one standout exception and the most impressive element were both contributed by the lost colony of those pesky United States.

The exception was the Most Reverend Michael B Curry, Presiding Bishop and Primate of the Episcopal Church. In front of six hundred mostly British guests, by definition therefore staid impassive and unemotional, Bishop Curry departed from his prepared remarks and became...well...flamboyant. And he spent a long time doing it.

In our private, in front of the television, party this proved too much for both I and C who began to hurl insults at the screen. Unsurprisingly these insults had no impact upon the faraway Bishop; no doubt as uncaring as he was unknowing of his impact in Sydney suburban Seaforth.

Bishop Curry continued to wave his arms, modulate his excitable delivery and generally chew up precious celebrity spotting time which proved too much for I and C who both fled from the television room refusing to return until confirmation that his sermon was at ended. During that self imposed banishment C consoled himself with a second, and if I may say so greedy, helping of curry (of the chicken variety). Too much of (Bishop) Curry meant too much curry for C.

And the most impressive element? Without question or equal that award goes to Doria Ragland, the mother of the bride. Dignified and stylish, Ms Ragland stole the show without uttering a word; flamboyant or otherwise.

Good Housekeeping

No Such Thing As A Fish

We booked to see 'No Such Thing As A Fish' many months ago purely on the description that this is the title of a popular British podcast featuring four researchers behind the British television series 'QI'.

The performance was in two parts. The first half has each of the researchers providing a humorous presentation about their work and interests. The second half was a live recording of a podcast for future broadcast.

Many interesting and wacky facts. A little uneven but an interesting and mostly humorous experience.

✮✮✮

Blind MKR

(Seven Network Australia)

The amateur cooking competition My Kitchen Rules has been a ratings winner for the Seven Network for years. The series has been a masterclass in manipulation; both of the contestants and in editing thus ensuring clear 'goodies' and 'baddies' for audiences to align with or against.

Currently at the semi final stage of the 2018 series, the teams that have reached this point are being judged in so called 'blind tastings' suggesting a guaranteed impartiality of outcome. Six judges, mostly chefs, are the adjudicators.

Frankly speaking the judges would have to be much more than vision impaired to be truely in doubt as to who has cooked which dishes.

For a start, two of the judges, the regular hosts of the competition, actually watch the competitors preparing and cooking their meals. A third judge is an occasional participant host through the preliminary rounds and so is also familiar with the competitors by that stage.

In the first semi final two Italian brothers competed against two Vietnamese mothers. The three course meals the judges assessed were an Italian menu and a Vietnamese menu. Can you guess which team prepared which menu?

I thought so.

Q & A

They don't make discussion shows like this anymore. Gore Vidal and Norman Mailer go hammer and tong on the Dick Cavett Show. The intervention from the unidentified woman on the panel at the 1.35  mark to 2.30 hits the spot.

The Project

It has been decades since I visited a television studio and I can't recall the last time I saw a program being filmed nor even remember what that program was. I suspect the last time was way back in the 1950s when my parents took me to see Captain Fortune; a children's show that was broadcast live on Saturday mornings.

Last weekend a friend arranged for three of us to be in the audience of 'The Project'. This is a popular news, current affairs and comedy program which has been screened every weeknight for years out of Melbourne which has now added a Sunday edition which is screened out of Sydney.

Although the show is presented 'live' it is interesting to see how they seamlessly blend pre-recorded material with live conversation. I was particularly impressed by the extent to which the panel members spent time chatting with the audience directly during the plentiful advertisement breaks and again at show's end. It was an enjoyable evening.

Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie

Two ageing women struggle, mostly unsuccessfully, to be part of the zeitgeist of the fashionable set.

'Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie' is a cinematic version of the successful British television series which has its devoted following. Extended to a movie, albeit one of barely 90 minutes, the film contains no more plot than the average television episode. Frankly what's been concocted here doesn't really justify expansion from television.

I've enjoyed the television series at times and I also had some laughs from this film but my enjoyment has always been tinged with some unease.

These women behave badly and almost everyone else in the film behaves badly too or else is made to look rather silly. Why am I laughing with them, or at them? There are plenty of celebrities to ogle at if you have any idea who they are. Almost all those connected with the fashion industry were a complete mystery to me, even with their names listed in the end credits.

If you are a devotee of the television series you will probably enjoy the movie, otherwise you are likely to be appalled.

★★

A technician called to deal with my complaint of pixellation, frozen screens and jumped scenes in recordings through my subscription television service.

I kept several recordings online as examples. He conducted some tests and identified several problems. One being that my signal strength was low; he quoted a reading of 'minus 2'. The other problem in his view was that the original installation provide a 'five way splitter', when all I require is a 'three way splitter'. That is, I only require a signal to split three ways (one to each of the two subscription services I run and one for the internet connection itself.

He replaced the 'splitter' and did whatever it was that produced a signal strength of 'plus 7'.

Whilst he was investigating the problem I asked if he could cut the excess cabling I was left with from the installation. For three years I have had literally metres and metres of excess cabling on my lounge room floor from the miscalculation the installer made of how much cabling I needed. The technician initially declined firmly to touch the cabling at all which was a disappointment but then when he found the jungle of cables overwhelming him as he worked to replace the splitter he changed his mind and to my delight cut much of the excess cabling. I was delighted.

Initially it seemed the technician had solved the recording problems. The first couple of programs recorded perfectly. Unfortunately problems have returned but to nowhere near the extent previously. I suspect the set top box itself, which was not examined by the technician, is playing up.

Not a valid response from Foxtel

I'm having a problem with my subscription television service, Foxtel. Specifically, my recorded programs are being compromised by the intrusion of pixellation, frozen moments and jumps through scenes. Live television service is not affected. I suspect there is a problem with the personal recording  unit.

I first reported this problem back in April and it appeared to be remedied at that time by a system reset.

However the same problems returned gradually a few weeks later and have increased in frequency ever since.

Today I called the technical support call centre which by the accent of the operator handling my call and the voices I could hear in the background is located in India. I wasn't happy with the service I received.

The operator asked for my account number and when I failed to provide it immediately - I was scanning my documentation to locate that information - she repeated 'account number, account number, account number' perhaps a dozen times without a moment's pause. Once I had provided the number she excused herself for a conversation with a colleague in a local language which I could hear before returning to my call and then asking - as though for the first time - for the number again.

This sent her into bursts of laughter which continued for about a minute. Then followed a number of questions one of which didn't seem relevant to me. When I queried the question the operator offered no explanation for it and just moved on to other questions.

By this time I lost patience and asked several times to be transferred to another operator. This request was ignored totally. I didn't bother asking for a supervisor as from previous experience I know the answer always is that there isn't one available.

This was one occasion when I held on for the follow up call asking me to rate the service. To each rating my response was 'not satisfied'. Each of these was met with the automated system informing me that mine was 'not a valid response'. (A number system of ratings is used.)

I did comply with the numbered ratings at each prompt but Foxtel, I can tell you your call centre service is not a valid response to customer expectations.

My mate Stan

As a long time subscriber to Australia's main pay television service I assumed that I would not be seduced by the various streaming services that have entered the Australian market in the past twelve months or so.

In my view I was already paying well over the odds for access to dozens and dozens of channels many showing no programs of interest to me or else showing programs repeated ad nauseum.

I would read about people who binge watched entire series of long running shows and I wondered who in their right mind would spend their time doing that.

Then along came Netflix and its initial program in Australia included first run of the American series 'House of Cards'; a series which until then had been exclusive to the pay service and a series to which I had become addicted.

So, I weakened my resolve and signed on to Netflix. The entire collection of episodes of Series 3 was released in one go and I was hooked into binge watching it. Like my pay service this streaming service had some programs that I liked and many more of little or no interest. Practising shrewd 'drip water torture' strategy the streaming service introduced new series and programs at a regular rate and occasionally one or two of them would engage my interest.

Having signed on to Netflix I was fairly sure I would not be tempted by other streaming services but then I was intrigued by advertising for '11.22.63' and 'Billions' screening on the Australian streaming service curiously named Stan and once again I couldn't resist.

Through Stan I was exposed to the television series 'The West Wing' (1999-2006). I never watched this series during its original release. I don't why. It was highly regarded and very popular here, yet I never saw even one of it's 154 episodes. Boy have I made up for it now. Binge watching? I sure have been.

What is it about The West Wing? Yes, the technology looks a bit quaint ten and more years later. Yes, the idealism seems naive at times. Yes, the politics and strategies are brutal at times. Yes, some of the episodes are just a little too clever by half. Yes, it is often parochial. Nevertheless I love it and at a time when actual American politics, 2016 style, leaves us bemused, this historical display of that country's political system is proving quite educative.

Thanks to my new mate Stan I now have an understanding of the attractions of binge viewing. It just has to be the right program. I am 128 episodes into it. Just 26 episodes to go.

The Unreal Days of the Bold and the Restless Years

Oh those soap operas! What longevity some of them enjoy.

I recall my first exposure to 'The Young and the Restless' on Hong Kong television in the late 1970s. The episodes were only about 20 minutes in length and they led into the evening news. It started in 1973.

The Young and the Restless 1974

Then there is 'The Days of Our Lives' which is even older having started in 1965. I think I came across this series in Hong Kong as well.

The Days of Our Lives 1973

It was my parents who, holidaying on the Gold Coast in the 1990s, alerted me to 'The Bold and the Beautiful', a comparative baby in the soap opera world dating back to only 1987. Even on their holiday my parents, no matter where they were, had to rush back to their hotel for the afternoon screening of this nonsense. My father, who had no interest in television if it wasn't news, current affairs or a (real) opera broadcast, was addicted to the 'lives' of Ridge, Storm et al.

The Bold and the Beautiful 1987

At different stages I was addicted to each of these series but thankfully I have long since lost that affliction. Every now and then I come across an episode from these shows and will watch it out of curiosity but no more than that. Each of them still has performers from those long ago years of my serial viewing days.

Many things have changed. Fashions and hair styles obviously. The romantic tangles may be modern but the underlying thread of them seems no different.

One very noticeable change is the move from indoor scenes to apparently outdoor scenes. In those 1970/80s days every scene was set indoors as far as I recall.

Nowadays, in an apparent attempt for greater reality, outdoor scenes are featured. Sometimes they are actually filmed outdoors but mostly it seems they are still indoor productions. In those moments I focus my attention on the extras in the background; not on the main protagonists.

The extras presumably are supposed to represent a realistic group of people in a public space. Except that they don't act realistically at all.

There are couples standing or sitting and mouthing silent conversations in the background. If the extras move it is mostly slowly as though in slow motion. No-one is in a hurry. There are no prams blocking aisles. There are no children screaming at hassled parents. There are no wayward shopping trolleys whose wheels defy the intentions of the pusher. There is no traffic noise.

As ever, these soap operas inhabit the most unreal of worlds.

This is Opera

I'm really enjoying 'This is Opera' screening in Australia on the Foxtel Arts channel. The host, Ramon Gener, is a real live wire full of energy and enthusiasm who has the most interesting ways of demonstrating the points he wants to make about the operas he highlights. In the latest episode, for example, he used the introduction of overhead serving in tennis by 1920s champion Bill Tilden to illustrate the dramatic impact on opera of the introduction of bel canto singing.

It doesn't hurt the series that Gener is a bit of looker.

Gener switches, with apparent ease, between his native Spanish to interviewing in Italian, French, German and (I think) Portuguese. He hosts the program in a rapid fire English but I have to admit I watch the series with closed captions switched on primarily because his pronunciation of my language is at times curious.

None the less, I look forward to viewing the show each week.

It takes fortitude...

....to see out the television series 'Fortitude'.

Is anyone else watching it?

Supposedly set in Norway but actually filmed in Iceland I was taken in by the snowbound locale and the stark, modern architecture.

This thriller/horror series about some undiagnosed force taking over its host bodies seemed regular enough in the early episodes but now has descended into the most gruesome images of attacks and murder. I can't bare to view some scenes yet can't seem to break off viewing the series either.

Is it nearly over? I hope so.

Watch that time

Speaking writing about watches and Ballarat as Andrew has done today I am reminded of the Dr Blake Mysteries, a fine ABC television period series about that regional town and the local Doctor who solves murder mysteries for the Police.

Dr Blake and his devoted side kick Mrs Beazley

The series is set in the 1950s and its creators go to great lengths to recreate the look and style of those times. I imagine they occasionally get it wrong but I don't usually notice.

This week I watched the series just ended. The first episode depicts a school boat race. The banners on the course clearly indicate the year is 1959. At one point the Police Constable looks at his watch which is shown in close up.

Wisely perhaps for pedantic viewers like me the watch does not display a brand but it is does have the word Quartz on it. 'Hold on' I thought 'were Quartz watches invented in 1959?' The answer according to Dr Google is 'no'. Quartz watches were invented in 1969.

Dr Google trumps Dr Blake.

At the movies Cirque du Soleil style

What we didn't see from the Academy Awards ceremony I'm told;

Dreamboat chef

This year's version of that amateur cooking contest on television is reaching the pointy end with only a week or so to go before the winner is declared.

Each year there is at least one contestant who attracts my interest for his...ah...qualities as distinct from any perceived cooking skills.

This year my fancy is

Brent Owens

I like his smile, his physique, his seemingly even temperament. Apparently he is a reasonable cook too even though he constantly finds himself on the losing side in team events. Yet again this week he will have to compete in the elimination round.

Although there are two other male competitors still in the running who I know from social media comments are very attractive to viewers Brent remains my favourite. I hope he lasts until the final night because once he is gone the eye candy element of this year's series will disappear for me.

Another day, another code

Quarter time at Swans v Carlton

Another day, another code of football. On Wednesday night it was Rugby League in Brisbane and tonight it was Australian Football in Sydney. By Sydney standards it was bitterly cold sitting in the stands tonight and we left the ground at half time. I was home before the third quarter ended to watch the reminder of the match on television in warmth and comfort.

The Doctor Blake Mistake

I quite enjoy ABC television's The Doctor Blake Mysteries. Set in regional Australia in the years following World War 2 it is a comparatively gentle mystery crime series along the lines of, say, the Miss Marple stories.

To my casual eye, the series does a pretty good job of recreating the look and fashions of the day and it takes a lot of care to avoid anachronistic images. In tonight's episode Australia's once favourite cake, the lamington, featured as a key clue but sadly the production design team mucked up an important ingredient.

For those who don't know, a lamington is traditionally a square of sponge cake coated in chocolate sauce and then coated in dessicated coconut. Sometimes the square is cut in two with jam and/or cream inserted between the top and bottom halves. Like Australia's Vegemite, lamingtons seem enjoyable only to Australians and to no one else.

Anyway, back to Doctor Blake.

The offending lamington was discovered in the kitchen of the school tuck shop. (A tuck shop is a small food outlet usually staffed by parent volunteers selling take away lunch and snacks to the students during their lunch break.) The lamington of interest to Doctor Blake looked something like the one in this photo;

Notice the coconut flakes? They are quite large. A style that seems to have been introduced to lamingtons in the past five years or so. Quite different from the style I grew up with in the 1950s which more like the one in the next photo;

and which I would have thought the more likely to be found by Doctor Blake.

A small detail for most people, I agree, but quite critical for a lamington aficionado like myself.

After all, it is details that Dr Blake revels in.

iBought it

Apple Store, Bondi Junction

The Apple Store was still heaving yesterday afternoon when I got to it after my shift at the hospital. It was the first day of sales of the new iPad Air and I purchased one to replace my iPad2. My preferred colour had sold out in the morning but otherwise I was able to get the model I wanted.

Same size screen as but smaller than my previous iPad and noticeably lighter I am very happy with my purchase. i watched the hour long iView replay of this week's episode the ABC's Redfern Now on it last night holding the iPad the entire time and my hands never tired.

I'm going to enjoy using it.

Brother, can you spare a dime?

Channel 10's ever helpful finance report on tonight's news

Stand clear of the doors Gladys.......

......because Channel 10 is gunning for you. Well, maybe not the Minister personally but Channel 10 in Sydney seems to have an obsession with Sydney Rail - I think that is the current name - at the moment. Barely a day goes by without an exclusive report about some issue with the rail service and it's never a flattering report. We've had fare evasion, fares generally, the cleanliness of the service, delays, delays in delivery of new stock, new uniforms, safety...and on and on it goes.

Last night's exclusive was the new timetable due later this year - I think - which will slash or streamline services, depending on your interpretation, by cutting stops at certain stations.

Now this report was neither news nor exclusive as I have heard/read of these plans twice before in the previous six months or so, nevertheless the information was delivered with that breathless highhandedness beloved of some media types.

Each time and so again last night, Our Gladys replied with words to the effect that the new timetable is a work in progress and it will deliver 'better this' and 'improved that' and blah, blah, blah.

Gladys may be right but she better watch out or she'll find herself trapped on a runaway train by a persistent television Channel which remains firmly on the tracks to shock and scandal land.