Oh printer...my printer...

At the outset let me state that I am not a computer head. I bumble along with very much a layman's understanding of technology, so bear that in mind those who bother to read the following personal installment of computing for dummies.

There I was last night minding my own business. I needed to print a simple document attached to an email. My printer was on and the document was open and I had clicked the various print buttons and there I was waiting expectantly. The printer whirred and whirred. Then...nothing happened.

I tried again. The printer whirred and whirred again. Then again...nothing happened.

I noticed that my screen now was displaying a few more printer messages (incomprehensible to me) than usual. Not only that but somehow I now seemed to be attached to a second printer with the same details plus the words 'Copy 1'. What was going on?

I tried my usual technical fix when something goes inexplicably wrong. I switched everything off at the power point, yelled 'fuck, fuck, fuck' to the walls, waited thirty seconds and then switched it all back on again.

Then I opened the email and the attachment, ordered the print job and waited. The printer whirred and whirred and then....nothing happened.

Now it was time for my technical fix method 2. I went into the control panel, found the related printer programs and uninstalled the lot. I restarted the computer and loaded the printer CD and installed the whole caboodle afresh. It seemed to go relatively smoothly although I was slightly nervous about a seemingly lengthy delay in the installment at one point. Maybe I was imagining that delay, after all it was getting late.

Then I opened the email and attachment for at least the third time and once again ordered the print job. The printer responded quickly but to my mind a little too noisily as it whirred and whirred. FUCK!! nothing happened, AGAIN.

Now it was time for special technical fix (printer) edition. I checked the toner cartridges. Well, the levels were getting lower but nowhere near bottom as yet. But my considered view was that all would be fine with fresh cartridges. Something for the morning, I decided.

So this morning it was off to the local shops for fresh cartridges. I had checked the manual and surprisingly it did not mention which specific cartridges were suitable but not to worry, I thought, I would just check for the packages listing my model printer. The shop had dozens of cartridges to chose from but do you think I could find even one that listed my model printer? My printer was purchased only six months ago and should not have been some outdated, superseded model T of the printer fraternity.

What to do? I wasn't game to ask the staff at that shop for their advice because the store was an agency only and computers/printers not even their core business.

I returned home dejected. Looking again at my computer I thought, let's go back to the beginning. Yes, sixteen hours after first starting down this track I was back at my usual technical fix. I switched everything off and restarted the computer. Then I uninstalled everything that remotely seemed connected with the printer and finally I reinstalled the printer's program. This time there was a glimmer of hope. The delay that I noticed last night didn't reoccur this morning. The installation was noticeably quicker than last night.

With trepidation, I reopened the email and the attachment and yet again ordered the print job. The printer whirred and whirred and then....it printed!! Somehow everything seems back on track again.

Why did the printer give up the ghost for those sixteen or so hours? Who knows. Maybe it was just feeling tired and emotional on a Friday night. I am grateful, at least, that I didn't end up wasting money on new cartridges.

Don't you just love modern technology?